I like how you used “blithely” disregarding the feelings of others, oh yes I’m capable too! I’m with you on that sensitivity, it’s a M’F , especially towards the wrong folks! I love your self checklist
Wow, culpability, so painful to dig down deep Jan. Thank you for this checklist? Never too old to have compassion for ourselves and share our vulnerability, Trish
What part of this is a gift? What part of this is the single best thing that could possibly have happened? What part of this is a revisit to the powerful beating heart of your deepest humanity, and an opportunity to take off the hair shirt? What part of this is a chance to acknowledge that the very fact this disturbed you so much is a statement about how deeply you care? And how does that make any part of you wrong or bad, other than deeply human,. as are we all? And what part of this isn't in alignment with your truth, which is always and forever to care and to do your level best, which means that we are GUARANTEED to fuck up and fail?
I ask these questions, Jan, because every so often I get to have the same conversations with myself when something I have done caused pain.
If I'd MEANT to do it, that would be different. I didn't intend to. That way lies remorse, and growth. Blame and shame, which I am quick to heap on myself, don't heal me, they just hurt me more. It's done. You know this, Jan, and you also know that we all do the best we can with what we've got and our fallibility is our greatest teacher. What a gift. People who don't care, don't explore these things as you are doing. People who do care, do explore them. It's true that sometimes we're so sensitive we are insensitive, but let's not turn that on ourselves. We are doing to mess up again. Let's not land on nails. We need to land softly, the way we would help another loved one to deal with a big mistake. We also deserve that.
And one more thing. When we are too old to make mistakes, we're already in the ground.
Oh, Julia, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been looking for the gift in all of this, and I am sure it's there. It's just a painful time as I try to have patience and compassion as I wait for that gift to emerge. Meanwhile, I so love what you said about not landing on nails. Hugs back at you.
I like how you used “blithely” disregarding the feelings of others, oh yes I’m capable too! I’m with you on that sensitivity, it’s a M’F , especially towards the wrong folks! I love your self checklist
It sure is. Thanks for your commiseration, Keanisha!
May we all be the imperfect beans we are. Otherwise, how would we grow? ❤️
Thanks for that perspective, Kristi!
Wow, culpability, so painful to dig down deep Jan. Thank you for this checklist? Never too old to have compassion for ourselves and share our vulnerability, Trish
Thanks, Trish. We never outgrow those needs, clearly!
What part of this is a gift? What part of this is the single best thing that could possibly have happened? What part of this is a revisit to the powerful beating heart of your deepest humanity, and an opportunity to take off the hair shirt? What part of this is a chance to acknowledge that the very fact this disturbed you so much is a statement about how deeply you care? And how does that make any part of you wrong or bad, other than deeply human,. as are we all? And what part of this isn't in alignment with your truth, which is always and forever to care and to do your level best, which means that we are GUARANTEED to fuck up and fail?
I ask these questions, Jan, because every so often I get to have the same conversations with myself when something I have done caused pain.
If I'd MEANT to do it, that would be different. I didn't intend to. That way lies remorse, and growth. Blame and shame, which I am quick to heap on myself, don't heal me, they just hurt me more. It's done. You know this, Jan, and you also know that we all do the best we can with what we've got and our fallibility is our greatest teacher. What a gift. People who don't care, don't explore these things as you are doing. People who do care, do explore them. It's true that sometimes we're so sensitive we are insensitive, but let's not turn that on ourselves. We are doing to mess up again. Let's not land on nails. We need to land softly, the way we would help another loved one to deal with a big mistake. We also deserve that.
And one more thing. When we are too old to make mistakes, we're already in the ground.
Hugs to you.
Oh, Julia, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been looking for the gift in all of this, and I am sure it's there. It's just a painful time as I try to have patience and compassion as I wait for that gift to emerge. Meanwhile, I so love what you said about not landing on nails. Hugs back at you.